Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
