He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
then he tried to convert me to islam
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
