put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
