it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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