That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
