beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
