3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
