She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
