okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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