Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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