Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
