I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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