just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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