I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
