fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Randomize
