You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
