i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
