The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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