sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
