No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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