I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize