The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
This girl is more easily done than said...
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
