OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
