this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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