Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
