I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
