Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
