How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
