Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
