all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
