chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
