I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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