i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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