Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
