I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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