Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
