I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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