Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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