I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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