Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
