I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
