I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
