she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
