His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
How's work?
Spinning.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
