My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
