Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
