your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
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