I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
