life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
