This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
