that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I don't deserve a penis
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
