Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
