goodnight i made you a song goodbye
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
