we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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