Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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