well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
