Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
